Uber Rain

Our glorious (sarcasm) mayor has decided that Uber is not being “upfront” with it’s licensing practices here in our great city of Houston.

Honestly, I have not Ubered much in the last month.  Maybe 2 times.  I plan on using this as a summer job.  I really only have 5 weeks off in the summer and I have 2 of those 5 used up on vacations already.  So how can I really find a job for 3 weeks?  I can easily go and be an assistant principal at a summer school BUT I am tired of chasing thugs.  I am ready to get away from kids for those 5 weeks.

Each summer in the past I have worked at central office on different discipline and safety “stuff”.  I get paid $200 a day but my hours suck.  The atmosphere sucks at the office.  This is not too bad because its an extra $800 a week (we work Monday-Thursday) for 3 weeks.  So $2400 on top of my salary.  Great spending money.

So… I really don’t want to work there this summer.  I need a break.  So, I started thinking I could UBER again.  Maybe drive people into downtown in the morning.  Drive around the “surge” areas during the mornings and then grab some lunch.  I could make $100 a day maybe?  So it isn’t quiet $2400 but I could probably make $1500.  Plus add some weekend and night times again in May to reach $2500 or so…

Here is deal…

A Uber driver in Houston got arrested… read here

So now Uber de-activated all of our accounts if we have not registered with the city of Houston.  I don’t live in Houston but according to Uber, it does not matter.  So… I have been shut down.

Now we have to jump through the cities hoops to get registered:

  • get fingerprinted for $40
  • take drug test and physical $70
  • get city of Houston warrant check $20 (plus $5 to park)
  • buy fire extinguisher
  • take all forms down to courthouse and wait in line to get registered

No big deal right?

ha

I have a full time job!  So yesterday I left work and got fingerprinted.  Today I left work and got drug test (I passed in case you were curious) and physical.  I also got the warrant check!

Making progress in the rain!!

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Black Shirt

Another Jeff update at his new job.

Remember the post about him buying a new wardrobe?  Well apparently he bought a new solid black shirt.

He calls me on the way home from work.  No “hello” or “how are you”.  As soon as I answer the phone with my usual greeting, “Whats up cupcake?”  He immediately starts the conversation with:

“Dude, so I go to take a shit today at work.  The bathrooms have an automatic flusher system which is pretty sweet.  EXCEPT.  You can not wear a black shirt when you sit on one of these crappers.”

I ask, “Why not?”

“Apparently, the black shirt doesn’t reflect light?  I don’t know.  All I know is that it continued to flush while I was sitting on it.  I guess the sensor thought that every time I moved with this black shirt it would flush. Each time I shifted on the toilet it would flush, when I reached for the toilet paper it flushed, I turned slightly to look at the back of the toilet and it flushed.   So…. My ass was soaking wet.  It was dripping wet when I stood up.  I had to towel off before I pulled up my slacks.”

All I could do was laugh.  And laugh I did almost all the way home.  I haven’t laughed that hard in ages.

Dressing the part

For some reason I have been thinking about clothes.  Yes, I know… This may sound strange but I was sharing a picture of my closet the other day.  I realize I have a bunch of shirts.  How many shirts does the average man have?

Please share your closet with me.  If your a working guy I would like to know how many shirts you have…

A buddy of mine, Jeff, just accepted a new job a few weeks ago.  Jeff is the guy I talk to every morning on the way to work that I talked about here.  Well one morning Jeff was telling me about his work clothing debacle.  See Jeff is a simple guy who used to work for a company in a cubical.  His cubical was in the “back” of an office and he spent most of his work-day online or on the phone dealing with clients.  Nobody really ever saw him or noticed his clothing.

His office was business casual (like most office buildings now-a-days).  Jeff explained to me that he only has a couple pairs of slacks and a few short-sleeve collared shirts… I call them golf shirts.  Well, Jeff would wear one pair of khaki-pants all week.  He would get them from the cleaners and just put them on Monday – Friday.  Of course he would take them off as soon as he got home from work each day.  They really weren’t dirty unless he sharted or some other miss-hap.  According to Jeff that only happened twice in the last couple years. (I asked).

Jeff asked if this was strange or weird.  (These are the kinds of conversations we have on the way to work).  I, of course, told him that was strange and he probably didn’t have many people talk to him at work due to him being known around the office as “smelly guy”.

Lets go back to the reason I am writing this.

Jeff has a new job that apparently is more “normal”.  There is a large office area that many people work in.  People are always trying to dress to impress.  Jeff tells me that he needs to go clothes shopping and asked me where to go.  I told him I have no clue on where to shop.  I do all my shopping online.  I point and click on what I like and it shows up in my mailbox.

The next day Jeff and I are talking and he says one of the ladies in the office shouts toward Jeff from across the break room.

“Yo, Jeff… Didn’t you wear those pants yesterday?”

Jeff stumbles and says, “Of course not…  Why would I wear pants two days in a row?”

“Those sure look like the pants you had on yesterday… And come to think of it, They look like the same ones you had on Monday.”  She continues

Jeff relays this information to me and says.  I can’t shop online I have nothing to wear tomorrow!!  I immediately ask him what he is wearing today.  haha.  He admits the same pants he has been wearing all week.

Good luck buddy. By this time my sides are hurting from laughing so hard at Jeff.  He is trying to be so serious and all I can think about is how bad he smells.

I think I’ll ask Jeff when he calls this morning how his wardrobe is shaping up.