A Proud Father Moment

I know my girls will never read this because this blog is anonymous!  But I just wanted to put it in writing.  Not so much for them; but for me.

Another proud Dad moment!

Last night the girl’s high school held their Soccer Banquet. It was a great night of awards for my two girls.

R – (Junior) – 3 year starter
3rd year in row of 1st Team All District,
3rd Year in row of 1st Team All Academic District
Voted Team Captain
1st year of Defensive MVP for District 19-5A
2nd year in row of Team Defensive MVP

B – (Freshman) – 1 year starter
1st Team All District
1st Team All Academic District
1st Year Team Offensive MVP (led team with 23 goals and 5 assists)

What I am most proud of is the fact both girls are able to dominate on the soccer field at the same time they dominate in the classroom.  Both girls have a high 3.7 GPA while carrying ALL advanced level courses.  (AP, dual credit, etc…)

I love you two and am so proud of all that you have accomplished and the excitement that the future holds for both of you.

I love being your father.

Apartment Love

When I first left my beautiful home I moved into a single 1 bedroom apartment in the only complex in my girl’s school attendance zone.  I had to get the 1 bedroom and go on a “waiting list” for the larger 2 bedroom.  At first I was a little perturbed.  They stuck me in this first floor apartment in the very back.  I was isolated.  My patio faced the boundary fence and on the other side was a 24 hour clinic.  I would never see another human being.  Sitting on my patio with wonder dog Fred was quiet.  Lonely even…  No noise…  The guy next to me backed into my truck causing a simple scratch.  He left his name on number on a note under my windshield wiper.  If I would of not got this note I would of never talked to anyone by this apartment.

I finally got to move to the 2 bedroom.  It was in the center of the complex.  Downstairs and full of the hustle bustle activity.  I’m sitting here at 7:11 pm typing this looking out my window and watching people walk by.  This place is like grand central station.  Every neighbor makes more noise than you can possible imagine.  On Friday and Saturday nights I think they have Fight Club in the parking lot.  Luckily I am a sound sleeper and don’t really give a shit about noise.

I’m actually entertained. I absolutely love to be in the center of the world.  I think I would prefer to live in a studio warehouse apartment above a bar in downtown Houston.   I will grab a beer and sit on the patio and watch the 20-somethings argue about what-nots.  Its cheap reality television for me.

My blinds in the bedroom rarely are closed.  I notice that I get ready at 4:45 AM and its still dark outside.  I shower and then stand naked at the sink fixing hair, applying deodorant, etc….  I leave the bathroom door open because it fogs up the mirror if I don’t.  I know the people in the parking lot probably get to see my ass every morning if they would care enough to get up that early for a fun show.  But due to the fact I walk Fred at 4:40 AM every morning I am all alone again.  Nobody in an apartment wakes up that early.  This is a night crowd place.  Most of the young 20-somethings go to work in the afternoon wearing restaurant aprons, tight fitting shorts, or uniforms.  I have multiple college degrees make enough money to put me in a high tax bracket and I’m living in the same type of place I drank myself silly when I was in college.

Living the dream!

I ran across this video and had to crack myself up.  I think this is brilliant.  I’m thinking of moving upstairs just to come up with these ideas.

What a way to pass time!

Playoff Bound

I started this year’s soccer season with this post called Sisters on the Pitch.  I wanted to give everyone a quick update on how this went.

We won the district by a landslide which ended last week.  Today is GAME DAY and we start the 1st round of playoffs against a team out of HISD (Houston Independent School District).  The school is about an hour and half drive.  So we are going into the Barrio.

The season has been amazing!  Never did I ever dream that I would have my two daughters (age 14 and 17) on the same field as teammates…  But it happened and I have loved every minute of it.

Little B (14 year old freshman) played forward and attacking center mid throughout the season.  She started like a firecracker.  Scored a hat trick on her first tournament to begin the season.   Soon after she was “scouted” and was double-teamed and triple-teamed as a forward for the entire season.  She did end up with 14 total goals and 5 assists.  The 14 goals led the district in the most goals scored.  Remember she is a FRESHMAN played on varsity!  It was impressive to watch.  Coach moved her to attacking center mid to allow her more space and create.  She had many goals late in the season from the 15-30 yard range.

Big R (17 year old Junior) is the defender.  There is no other title that fits.  She plays man-marking on whomever is the best offensive player on the other team.  She sticks to them like glue.  It is fun to watch.  Nobody gets by R.  She is what I would call a “shut-down” defender.  Mean as a rattle snake and quick as a jungle cat.  She finished the season with 2 goals (corner kicks she blasted in) and 3 assists.  But more importantly we only had 2 goals scored on us the entire season.  Think about that…. 22 games and we had 2 goals against us.

Proud father here.

Whats even better is they are in all AP and pre-AP courses making honor roll.  R as a junior has already accumulated 18 college credit  hours from dual-credit and AP classes.  She will finish in June with another 9 hours.

Scouting and recruiting is going hard for R.  She wants to play at a D-2 school because she likes the size of the student body.  She is more of an introvert so she doesn’t like the big schools.  She could play college soccer at most D-1 schools but will make a D-2 coach giggle like a school girl when she decides to play for them.  Just show me the scholarship money.

SO here we are .. 5:35 AM on Thursday.  It is GAME DAY!  Lets go girls…. Take it hard to these playoffs.  I am so proud of these girls.

Single Dad with a car lot

As many of you have followed, you know that I am single father raising two teenage girls.  One is 17 and the other turns 15 in two months.  So… I have been thinking about the vehicle situation.  I have my vehicle and I bought my 17 year old a truck.  She wanted a truck… She lives in Texas…. What did you expect?

So between the three of us we have 2 vehicles.  Well, my brother-in-law is out with me the other night and asks what my plan was for my youngest to drive.  I have just started thinking about it but nothing concrete.  He says he has a very good shape Maxima that he just rebuilt the engine, put new tires on and is very clean.  Nothing special or exciting; just clean.  Asks if I want to buy it for cheap.  I said sure.  He just needed to get it off his insurance and that he could park it behind his shop on his land.  I said, “done… park it and I’ll pick it up a year from now.”

Yesterday rolls around and bro-in-law calls saying, “Come get this vehicle… Its too wet behind my shop and I put my travel trailer there.”  So, M and I head out there and pick up this car.

So lets rehash…

I am in an apartment with two teenage girls and the wonder dog Fred.  That’s 3 people and 2 of them are driving age.  We own 3 vehicles now.

I have cars parked everywhere around the apartment complex.  I have keys all over the place.  I have decisions to make each morning on which vehicle I decide to drive to work.

Craziness, yet again in the house.

I’m thinking I can cruise the town in a number of cars and pick up chicks,

Hot single guy with 3 cars…. Who wants some of this action???

No, just kidding… I have found the girl for me and enjoy joking with her about my car situation.  Maybe she will go parking in the backseat of one of these beauties????

Grilling in a skillet

Grilling in a skillet

The last few posts have been filled with sorrow and melancholy.  Okay, lets be real… It has been a rough ass week!

So, talking to Melly last night we started talking about food.  What does a newly single bachelor eat?  I posted a blog entry not too long ago about my food budget.  But seriously, what can I cook?

Back in the married days…. (Remember I had 21 years X 365 = 7665 days…)  I would often grill.  That was my form of cooking.  Truthfully, I grilled maybe once or twice a week!  I was a wizard.  I had a sweet set of tongs (not thongs).  I could cook the best steak, chicken, fish, pork chops, etc…  I could slow smoke a brisket, ribs, or a chicken.  I had more fun messing with new recipes.  My favorite was the Beer-Butt Chicken.  The girls first noticed the Beer-Butt Chicken when they were little bitty carpet rats.  They loved it because they got to say, “butt”.  Then run off getting lost in the carpet and giggle.  T would looks exasperated with me and I wouldn’t run off but would stand there and giggle.

Back to the point…

The state of Texas has as silly law against grilling in apartments.  But what I don’t understand as I drive through my complex is every other patio or porch has a grill on it.  But I have never smelled anything grilling… What gives?

SO here I am in the apartment with my $5.00 red skillet and a tub of Smart Balance fake butter.  I am ready to cook road kill.

I was trying to think of a good list of what I have cooked in the past 6 months I have been living the single lifestyle.

  1. Spaghetti. I buy the jar of regular meat sauce, fresh mushrooms, ground turkey (a habit from T… I may switch to ground beef next time I’m shopping), onions, and spices. I did purchase regular noodles for a dollar. I recognized the noodles T would buy for $3.75. Some sorta wheat thing. YUCK
  2. I can put chicken breasts in the skillet with butter and spices… Then cut it up and put ontop of some egg type noodles. Again, I find the bag of noodles for a dollar. I’ll usually cut up some mushrooms, veggies, etc… Pour some white sauce from a jar. I find it next to the red sauce for spaghetti. Taste like a small touch of heaven.
  3. I have bought and thrown pork chops in the skillet. Those are divine.
  4. I usually go out to eat or am able to score some leftovers from visiting my mom.
  5. If I go out I often get a take home box. Never did this before but heck I’m thinking another dinner can be had!
  6. I have gone to the Mexican restaurant around the corner from my apartment a few nights and sat at the bar and make friends with the bartender and wait staff. They have a smorgasbord of nice televisions mounted all throughout. This is a great place to sit alone, watch a little sports, and eat. I will usually order fajitas for two and bring half home for another meal.

As you can see of my sad pitiful list; I need some help.

I don’t appear to be losing any weight.  I actually gained back a few of the pounds I lost during the separation.  So I feel pretty good.

What do other single guys do?  I am tired of smelling up the apartment and setting off the smoke alarm constantly grilling in a skillet.

skillet

No Regrets

2015 – The Year of No Regret

What do I expect to do in 2015?  This is a great question that requires deep thought.  The kind of thoughts that you are awaken by in the middle of a deep sleep.   I have been thinking about this post for a couple of days now.  I need to make sure that I am ready for it.

2014 was absolutely, hands down, the worst year of my life.  Period.  Plain. Simple. The Worst.

I hope it stays that way. But being “life”, I am sure it will not.  We cannot enjoy the good things in life if we don’t have the bad things to compare them too.  Does this sound a little like the Ying and the Yang?

I want to really live life. I can get corny here and sing the song, Live Like You Are Dying. I truly want to enjoy the next half of my life.

  1. Be adventurous.
  2. Meet and talk to as many people in public as I can.
  3. Sing, smile and dance more at work, at home, on the streets, everywhere.
  4. Reduce the anger with the little stuff less with the girls.
  5. Raise and love the girls correctly.
  6. Forgive my ex-wife.
  7. Play golf with my Dad at least once a month.
  8. Visit my parents more often.
  9. Experiment with new things.
  10. Date often.

I only have a simple list.  I deserve to be happy.  I deserve to spend the next 44 years or so of my life without regrets.

August 17 – 21, 2014

Continuing the story…

T and I talk and try and work out the problems.  It is hard.  She is telling me that she has “fallen out of love” with me.  How can we continue to build our lives together if she does not “love” me anymore.  She actually said, “I like you… I just don’t have romantic feelings for you.”  How do you respond?

She tells me that her wants and desires out of life do not fit the schedule that the girls and I follow.  NO SHIT???  We only have 3.5 years left of the girls and then we are empty nesters.

We travelled down to Galveston just a few weeks prior to this to look at our future home.  We decided to buy a bay house on the water.  A canal house.  We looked and searched for the exact area.  We dreamed of parking a boat and jet skis on the canal.  When the girls had a family of their own the grandkids could come visit.  We talked about hobbies.

I spend my entire birthday this past July telling people to get me gift cards from Bass Pro Shops.  I was going to buy bay-fishing rods and reels.  Making a complete turn in my future.  Bay-Fishing was the calling.

Saltwater-Fishing

The week of August 17-21.  It begins great.  T finally agrees to see a therapist.  She is so worried that “shit will come up from my childhood”  She is scared but brave.  After the first visit she learns that she must heal herself before she can heal us.  I hear psychology talk, “We are a whole together and we can not be whole if one of the pieces is broken.”  So I leave her to heal.  Or at least attempt to.

She becomes rude… becomes angry… becomes hard to deal with.  I am not able to deal.  I get paranoid.  I get needy.  I get nervous that this is not going to work.  She tells me something for the 1st time.  She proceeds to tell me this 3 more times over the next 3 weeks until I interrupt and tell her I don’t need to hear it again.  T says, “I have been so unhappy with you that my saving grace is that I realize I am healthier than you.  I should live longer and when you die I will be happy.”  I keep remembering the song, Angry all the time.

Here we are
What is left of a husband and a wife
With four good kids who have a way of gettin on with their lifes.
Well, I’m not old,but I’m gettin a whole lot older everyday.
It’s to late to keep from going crazy, I got to get away.

The reasons that can’t stay,dont have have a thing to do with being in love.
And I understand that lovin a man should have to be this rough.
You ain’t the only one who feels like this worlds left you far behind.
i dont know why you gotta be angry all the time.

Our boys are strong, the spittin image of you when you were young.
I hope someday the can see past what you have become.
I remember everytime I said i’d never leave.
What I can’t live with is memories of the way you used to be.

The reason that I can’t stay don’t have a thing to do with being in love.
And I understand that loving a man should’nt have to be this rough.
You ain’t the only one who feels like this worlds left you far behind.
i don’t know why you gotta be angry all the time.

Twenty years have came and went since i walked out of your door.
I never quite made it back to the one i was before.
And god it hurts me, to think of you
For the light in your eyes was gone.
Sometimes, I dont know why this old world can’t leave well enough alone.

The reasons that I can’t stay dont have a thing to do with being in love.
I understand that lovin a man shouldn’t have to be this rough.
You ain’t the only one who feels like this worlds left you far behind.
I don’t know why you gotta be angry all the time.

August 20.  I come home from a hell of a day at work.  I am threatened and attacked by a crazy ass student.  18 year old gangbanger that is pissed at anyone that tells him “no”.  He is strung out on drugs and running from the lifestyle he has chosen.  I have to suspend him and he goes ballistic.  Luckily the police officer is with me and arrested the punk.  I just want my wife.  I just want to go home and tell her I’m too old for this crap.  I need to decompress with someone.  She tells me that she does not have the strength to deal with me.  She avoids me.  I have never felt more alone.

August 21.  When I walk in the door T is in another foul mood.  She won’t make eye-contact with me.  She is fussing at the girls.  Fussing at me… I finally tell her that if she is this miserable.  If the simple sight of me is that bad then she needs to go stay with her sister for awhile and heal.  She tells me that when I walk in the room it feels like all the air is sucked out.  It becomes a scary place.  WOW?  We argue.  I tell her to, “get her shit and go.”  She starts to pack.  B tells her to stay but just be nice.  I try and tell her that I do not really want her to leave.  She ignores me and tells everyone that, “I kicked her out!”

The girls and I just look at each other.  B is pissed at T.  R walks into the living room and tells me, “Dad I noticed that you guys were falling apart last year.  How did you not see this coming?”  Remember R is only 16.

This begins the downward spiral that I find myself in now.  Everytime I play that song it stings.  I remember in 2001 when it came out.  T and I made eye contact in the truck.  She teared up and looked away.  A sign back then?

to be continued…