Mrs. Walowitz died!!!

A television legend died today!  This is tragic news.  Big Bang Theory actress Mrs. Walowitz died.  She was the unseen voice of Howard’s mother.

Often you could hear her yelling from upstairs in that HORRIBLE voice.  I have nightmares of that voice.

Last week the girls are playing soccer against one of our district rivals on their home turf.  The parents of our girls and myself sat on the home side with the opponent’s parents.  Below us was an old lady that yelled and cheered for her team the ENTIRE game.  Her voice was rough, nasal, sounded like gravel and gave everyone a headache.

At first we were all silently cussing her because she would not SHUT UP.  By the second half of the game we were cheering her on.  It was impressive how much she cheered.  Her cheers were always super positive.  Never spoke down on the our team and really were there to motivate the opponents.

One of the mothers on our team leaned over to me and asked, “Do you watch Big Bang Theory?”  I replied that I did.  She then said, “That lady sounds EXACTLY like Mrs. Walowitz!”

I laughed for an hour.  She did.  I think she was Mrs. Walowitz.

Now today I read that she died.  Tragic.

Big Bang needs to come find this lady to fill in the role.  Nobody would ever know the difference.

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Super Bowl? Super Man

stuI have been holding off on making this post until the right time.  I feel this morning after watching ESPN and Suzy Kolber I broke down and shed a tear.  Stuart Scott died January 4, 2015.

stu

At times it feels that Stu has been in my life my entire adulthood from afar.  I turn on ESPN pretty much every day of my life.  Stu is there.  Stu is making me smile.  Stu is giving me some report on my sports stars.  Stu is making me laugh.  The guy is just apart of the TV to me.

His collegues, Suzy Kolber, Chris Berman, etc… Are all ingrained in my life as well.

I was thinking in January that the Super Bowl is not going to be the same.  Pre-game on Super Bowl Sunday is always so entertaining to me.  I love the in depth stories of the athletes.  Stu was always able to make me laugh.

suzt

This morning I got more than I bargained for.  Suzy Kolber.  (btw.. The absolute more gorgeous sports announcer to walk the planet.  Well hell, one of the most gorgeous women to walk the planet) broke down when trying to talk about Stu.  It was raw.  It was not scripted.  It was true friendship and mourning.  It was real.

Thank you Suzy… Thank you Stu…  Thank you ESPN for being a part of my life.

http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=espn:12118361

August 17 – 21, 2014

Continuing the story…

T and I talk and try and work out the problems.  It is hard.  She is telling me that she has “fallen out of love” with me.  How can we continue to build our lives together if she does not “love” me anymore.  She actually said, “I like you… I just don’t have romantic feelings for you.”  How do you respond?

She tells me that her wants and desires out of life do not fit the schedule that the girls and I follow.  NO SHIT???  We only have 3.5 years left of the girls and then we are empty nesters.

We travelled down to Galveston just a few weeks prior to this to look at our future home.  We decided to buy a bay house on the water.  A canal house.  We looked and searched for the exact area.  We dreamed of parking a boat and jet skis on the canal.  When the girls had a family of their own the grandkids could come visit.  We talked about hobbies.

I spend my entire birthday this past July telling people to get me gift cards from Bass Pro Shops.  I was going to buy bay-fishing rods and reels.  Making a complete turn in my future.  Bay-Fishing was the calling.

Saltwater-Fishing

The week of August 17-21.  It begins great.  T finally agrees to see a therapist.  She is so worried that “shit will come up from my childhood”  She is scared but brave.  After the first visit she learns that she must heal herself before she can heal us.  I hear psychology talk, “We are a whole together and we can not be whole if one of the pieces is broken.”  So I leave her to heal.  Or at least attempt to.

She becomes rude… becomes angry… becomes hard to deal with.  I am not able to deal.  I get paranoid.  I get needy.  I get nervous that this is not going to work.  She tells me something for the 1st time.  She proceeds to tell me this 3 more times over the next 3 weeks until I interrupt and tell her I don’t need to hear it again.  T says, “I have been so unhappy with you that my saving grace is that I realize I am healthier than you.  I should live longer and when you die I will be happy.”  I keep remembering the song, Angry all the time.

Here we are
What is left of a husband and a wife
With four good kids who have a way of gettin on with their lifes.
Well, I’m not old,but I’m gettin a whole lot older everyday.
It’s to late to keep from going crazy, I got to get away.

The reasons that can’t stay,dont have have a thing to do with being in love.
And I understand that lovin a man should have to be this rough.
You ain’t the only one who feels like this worlds left you far behind.
i dont know why you gotta be angry all the time.

Our boys are strong, the spittin image of you when you were young.
I hope someday the can see past what you have become.
I remember everytime I said i’d never leave.
What I can’t live with is memories of the way you used to be.

The reason that I can’t stay don’t have a thing to do with being in love.
And I understand that loving a man should’nt have to be this rough.
You ain’t the only one who feels like this worlds left you far behind.
i don’t know why you gotta be angry all the time.

Twenty years have came and went since i walked out of your door.
I never quite made it back to the one i was before.
And god it hurts me, to think of you
For the light in your eyes was gone.
Sometimes, I dont know why this old world can’t leave well enough alone.

The reasons that I can’t stay dont have a thing to do with being in love.
I understand that lovin a man shouldn’t have to be this rough.
You ain’t the only one who feels like this worlds left you far behind.
I don’t know why you gotta be angry all the time.

August 20.  I come home from a hell of a day at work.  I am threatened and attacked by a crazy ass student.  18 year old gangbanger that is pissed at anyone that tells him “no”.  He is strung out on drugs and running from the lifestyle he has chosen.  I have to suspend him and he goes ballistic.  Luckily the police officer is with me and arrested the punk.  I just want my wife.  I just want to go home and tell her I’m too old for this crap.  I need to decompress with someone.  She tells me that she does not have the strength to deal with me.  She avoids me.  I have never felt more alone.

August 21.  When I walk in the door T is in another foul mood.  She won’t make eye-contact with me.  She is fussing at the girls.  Fussing at me… I finally tell her that if she is this miserable.  If the simple sight of me is that bad then she needs to go stay with her sister for awhile and heal.  She tells me that when I walk in the room it feels like all the air is sucked out.  It becomes a scary place.  WOW?  We argue.  I tell her to, “get her shit and go.”  She starts to pack.  B tells her to stay but just be nice.  I try and tell her that I do not really want her to leave.  She ignores me and tells everyone that, “I kicked her out!”

The girls and I just look at each other.  B is pissed at T.  R walks into the living room and tells me, “Dad I noticed that you guys were falling apart last year.  How did you not see this coming?”  Remember R is only 16.

This begins the downward spiral that I find myself in now.  Everytime I play that song it stings.  I remember in 2001 when it came out.  T and I made eye contact in the truck.  She teared up and looked away.  A sign back then?

to be continued…