Uber Rain

Our glorious (sarcasm) mayor has decided that Uber is not being “upfront” with it’s licensing practices here in our great city of Houston.

Honestly, I have not Ubered much in the last month.  Maybe 2 times.  I plan on using this as a summer job.  I really only have 5 weeks off in the summer and I have 2 of those 5 used up on vacations already.  So how can I really find a job for 3 weeks?  I can easily go and be an assistant principal at a summer school BUT I am tired of chasing thugs.  I am ready to get away from kids for those 5 weeks.

Each summer in the past I have worked at central office on different discipline and safety “stuff”.  I get paid $200 a day but my hours suck.  The atmosphere sucks at the office.  This is not too bad because its an extra $800 a week (we work Monday-Thursday) for 3 weeks.  So $2400 on top of my salary.  Great spending money.

So… I really don’t want to work there this summer.  I need a break.  So, I started thinking I could UBER again.  Maybe drive people into downtown in the morning.  Drive around the “surge” areas during the mornings and then grab some lunch.  I could make $100 a day maybe?  So it isn’t quiet $2400 but I could probably make $1500.  Plus add some weekend and night times again in May to reach $2500 or so…

Here is deal…

A Uber driver in Houston got arrested… read here

So now Uber de-activated all of our accounts if we have not registered with the city of Houston.  I don’t live in Houston but according to Uber, it does not matter.  So… I have been shut down.

Now we have to jump through the cities hoops to get registered:

  • get fingerprinted for $40
  • take drug test and physical $70
  • get city of Houston warrant check $20 (plus $5 to park)
  • buy fire extinguisher
  • take all forms down to courthouse and wait in line to get registered

No big deal right?

ha

I have a full time job!  So yesterday I left work and got fingerprinted.  Today I left work and got drug test (I passed in case you were curious) and physical.  I also got the warrant check!

Making progress in the rain!!

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The Bowels of Defensive Driving

I am stuck in the middle of an online defensive driving course!  I got a speeding ticket.  Yes… I am an idiot.  My first ticket in 12 years… I wasn’t paying attention to the speed.  It was in a work-zone.  I’m a fool.

REGARDLESS…

I got a flyer in the mail for at $25 online ‘Comedy’ defensive driving course.  It is not funny.  There is absolutely zero comedy involved.

Please feel for me…

Going back to the program…

Single Dad with a car lot

As many of you have followed, you know that I am single father raising two teenage girls.  One is 17 and the other turns 15 in two months.  So… I have been thinking about the vehicle situation.  I have my vehicle and I bought my 17 year old a truck.  She wanted a truck… She lives in Texas…. What did you expect?

So between the three of us we have 2 vehicles.  Well, my brother-in-law is out with me the other night and asks what my plan was for my youngest to drive.  I have just started thinking about it but nothing concrete.  He says he has a very good shape Maxima that he just rebuilt the engine, put new tires on and is very clean.  Nothing special or exciting; just clean.  Asks if I want to buy it for cheap.  I said sure.  He just needed to get it off his insurance and that he could park it behind his shop on his land.  I said, “done… park it and I’ll pick it up a year from now.”

Yesterday rolls around and bro-in-law calls saying, “Come get this vehicle… Its too wet behind my shop and I put my travel trailer there.”  So, M and I head out there and pick up this car.

So lets rehash…

I am in an apartment with two teenage girls and the wonder dog Fred.  That’s 3 people and 2 of them are driving age.  We own 3 vehicles now.

I have cars parked everywhere around the apartment complex.  I have keys all over the place.  I have decisions to make each morning on which vehicle I decide to drive to work.

Craziness, yet again in the house.

I’m thinking I can cruise the town in a number of cars and pick up chicks,

Hot single guy with 3 cars…. Who wants some of this action???

No, just kidding… I have found the girl for me and enjoy joking with her about my car situation.  Maybe she will go parking in the backseat of one of these beauties????

Black Shirt

Another Jeff update at his new job.

Remember the post about him buying a new wardrobe?  Well apparently he bought a new solid black shirt.

He calls me on the way home from work.  No “hello” or “how are you”.  As soon as I answer the phone with my usual greeting, “Whats up cupcake?”  He immediately starts the conversation with:

“Dude, so I go to take a shit today at work.  The bathrooms have an automatic flusher system which is pretty sweet.  EXCEPT.  You can not wear a black shirt when you sit on one of these crappers.”

I ask, “Why not?”

“Apparently, the black shirt doesn’t reflect light?  I don’t know.  All I know is that it continued to flush while I was sitting on it.  I guess the sensor thought that every time I moved with this black shirt it would flush. Each time I shifted on the toilet it would flush, when I reached for the toilet paper it flushed, I turned slightly to look at the back of the toilet and it flushed.   So…. My ass was soaking wet.  It was dripping wet when I stood up.  I had to towel off before I pulled up my slacks.”

All I could do was laugh.  And laugh I did almost all the way home.  I haven’t laughed that hard in ages.

Mrs. Walowitz died!!!

A television legend died today!  This is tragic news.  Big Bang Theory actress Mrs. Walowitz died.  She was the unseen voice of Howard’s mother.

Often you could hear her yelling from upstairs in that HORRIBLE voice.  I have nightmares of that voice.

Last week the girls are playing soccer against one of our district rivals on their home turf.  The parents of our girls and myself sat on the home side with the opponent’s parents.  Below us was an old lady that yelled and cheered for her team the ENTIRE game.  Her voice was rough, nasal, sounded like gravel and gave everyone a headache.

At first we were all silently cussing her because she would not SHUT UP.  By the second half of the game we were cheering her on.  It was impressive how much she cheered.  Her cheers were always super positive.  Never spoke down on the our team and really were there to motivate the opponents.

One of the mothers on our team leaned over to me and asked, “Do you watch Big Bang Theory?”  I replied that I did.  She then said, “That lady sounds EXACTLY like Mrs. Walowitz!”

I laughed for an hour.  She did.  I think she was Mrs. Walowitz.

Now today I read that she died.  Tragic.

Big Bang needs to come find this lady to fill in the role.  Nobody would ever know the difference.

Chick In A Mustang

I have told you about Jeff in a previous post.  Jeff and I talk every morning.  He actually lives about 20 minutes south of me on the same major highway I travel down to get to work.  I don’t think we have ever seen each other on the way to work but we have been close.  As in, a few hundred feet close.  There have been times when he says, “Do you see that sweet 4×4?” and a few seconds later I catch the 4×4.

For those of you that do not know Houston and Houston traffic.  Try and imagine 6 million people driving the roads together at the same time.

Anyways…

I am talking to Jeff the other morning and I see a brand new shiny black Mustang with paper plates.  The driver of the Mustang is knock-down gorgeous.  I pass the Mustang and we both smile at each other… (well, I smile really big and cheesy and she just gives me a quick smirk).  I am talking to Jeff and tell him about her.  I learn that Jeff is only an exit north of me.

We keep driving.  The Mustang pulls away in the front.

I here Jeff scream a few minutes later and says, “I see the Mustang.. I’m slowing down to get a look at the girl.”

The next sound I hear is a huge yell from Jeff saying, “DUDE that’s a guy!!!”

I try and settle Jeff down but he is off to the races with this news.  Jeff honestly laughed so hard that I could not understand what he was saying.  I had to hang up because he would not stop laughing.

Thanks, Chick in the Mustang…  Or was she a guy?

The Funniest Ad I Have Ever Seen

Oh my… This may be the funniest commercial I have ever seen. Absolutely hilarious.

“I just birthed a creamy behemoth from my cavernous bowels.” lol good stuff.

Thanks – FiftyfourandAHalf blog

FiftyFourandAHalf

I only hope my husband doesn’t think this would make an appropriate Valentine’s Day gift.

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