Isolation

Writing this blog has me thinking again.  This is usually when I get into the most trouble with life.

We are a couple weeks away from the court date that finalizes the end of our 21 year marriage.  January 13, 2015 to be exact.  No arguments, no fights, no drama.  I already turned in the divorce decree, took the parenting class (mandatory in our county), and paid the court fees (not to mention my attorney fees to write the decree).  All I need to do is go to court and the judge will electronically sign the decree and I can purchase a certified copy from the courts for $1.00 a page.  (41 pages total)   Oh joy!

This is it?

I keep watching tv shows and there is a lot of dysfunctional couples that always fight harder to win the girl back, etc…. Did I fight hard enough?  Who is supposed to tell me this?  But I really don’t want it back. Or do I?

I kinda like my isolation.  My gut tells me to move on.  I try and listen to my gut.  It keeps me going forward, usually.  These thoughts and emotions are raw.  Exposed, isolated, but mostly just raw.

How does one know?  What if I am making a mistake?  Life is just a crap shoot.  Roll the dice, smile along the way.

The girls went back to their mothers today.  I am alone all day.  No work, no responsibilities (other than taking Fred, adopted dog, out to take care of his business)… Nothing.  NO noise

I miss the noise.  But then again I don’t.

What stage of grief is this?

Let me go back to my life motto.  You may have heard it before.

Is the juice worth the squeeze?

I honestly don’t think that if T walked to my door with her emotions exposed and begging to return to what we had before that I would take it.  I don’t think the juice would be worth the squeeze.

I saw the movie, The Girl Next Door, many years ago.  I watched this scene and I thought of my relationship with T at the time.  I remember having to convince myself that the juice was worth the squeeze…. Then I just shook it off to everyone has small doubts.  Or do they?

Kevin Sumlin Dismisses Michael Richardson From Texas A&M Football, Also Fires Pool Boy

I was going to write an article about the Texas A&M game and one of my favorite college football coaches, Kevin Sumlin. But this blog does it better… Thanks, The Big Lead

2:00 AM and the Razorbacks Win – Never Yield

I am just returning home from the Texas Bowl.  The Arkansas Razorbacks completely destroyed the Texas Longhorns.  It was embarrassing for the poor Longhorns.  Great for the Hogs!!!

So, I’m still pumped and wired.  But Fred, the adopted dog, was locked in his crate for 11 hours.  He is shitting liquid and some of it got on my bed spread.  So, the sheets and bedding are all in the wash.  The joys of having a dog.  If you feed it; it will shit.

I can’t tell you how many times I called the hogs and sang the Arkansas Fight Song.  They have a line that they have adopted as one of their many slogan which is just awesome…

NEVER YIELD

Great game.  Great fun with the girls and my father… plus my nephew!

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The group

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What a night!